It’s Not About The Outcome…

Now, honestly… have you ever thought, “I will definitely have so much [more] joy as soon as I get to Y from X. For sure!”? Come on; think harder. I know I have. In fact, I have a specific scenario in mind…

When I Longed For A Specific Outcome

Couldn’t stop, wouldn’t stop… even on vacation

As an adult, I do value a good vacation; especially as a full-time, working adult. Yet, I began feeling so abnormal because I found myself – while at times having lots of fun – longing for the end of my vacation! I know, right? Who thinks like that?? Me… Not only did I want to get back to my ultimate dream of serving my various clients, but I also looked forward to the part where I was relaxed, calm, at peace, and rejuvenated (full of joy!)… apparently, that was only supposed to go upon culminating the festivities of vacay.

It Didn’t Happen How I Wanted…

Funny thing (not in a ‘haha’ way, of course); that part never came. So, not only did I not get what I wanted out of the vacation fully, I also didn’t experience what I needed to fully doing something of value to me. I was so focused on the end goal that I forgot several things.

Because I Forgot:

  • To enjoy the activities and the vacation as a whole
  • I am a planner, for real, and being so focused on the end made me either mess up or forget the essential planning of my activities for optimum success, enjoyment, and joy!
  • Most importantly, to spend time RESTING. I most assuredly was not able to feel rested and rejuvenated if I was running from adventure to adventure during this or that “exciting” vacation.

Now don’t get me wrong, I have had some amazing vacations with family and friends. The fact that I got to be with them is of more value to me than anything else. And, I could have done a LOT better…

The Power of [Negative] Thoughts

Is it even possible to count all of the thoughts and moments – big and small – that could potentially sidetrack or sideline the average person from receiving, expressing, and/or experiencing life’s many joy-filled moments? One quick, negative, thought and BAM!… a person’s day is essentially ruined. Well, if you can count them all, I’m impressed, because I know I have had many a date and time where my joy seemed to have bee snatched right from under me in what seemed like an instant. Don’t worry, I’m not going to leave us all on the path towards sob-fest! 😉 It’s simply important to understand where we’re coming from to change where we are headed.

For Example:

Inward and outward insecurities are some of the biggest and realest side-trackers of my joy. There are still days/moments where I begin to feel less intelligent or attractive or accomplished; than anyone else. These feelings, more times than not, can be caused by laser-focus on outcomes. I’m sure you’ve heard the phrase above, or “I can’t really be happy or achieve what I want unless I get X or am Y.” Well guess what, that’s okay! Yep, it is. It’s not about getting rid of the goals, it’s about loving those (reachable) goals AND loving how you get to them.

The Importance of Shifting Mindset

So I’m going to pare it down a bit. All of mental health and shifting mindset is essential to overall health and joy activation. Yet, shifting mindset little by little is the best way to really be successful in that endeavor. One thing I have been able to shift my mindset towards recently is the thought of taking more time to enjoy the how stated above. I am making sure to hold on to gratitude for the journey over the end goals. Turns out loving the journey over the end point is super important. ”Journey towards what?” – you may ask… Well, towards… ANYTHING! A journey can be literally a physical trek from here to the grocery store or here to work, or here to a favorite vacation spot. AND it means a mental journey, towards a plethora of goals, dreams, actions, and the like. Upon reading and reflection, I have realized how it has served me much less to focus on the outcome I would like to achieve to the detriment of really engulfing myself in the joy of the journey. How about you?

Think about it:

The journey is the reward. It keeps me always learning (which I happen to LOVE), always growing and becoming better. It helps to free me from most outward and inward insecurities (feeling less intelligent, too unattractive, too “big” in the stomach area… you get it) that have sidetracked me from actually loving my growth; loving my journey to the absolute peak of its potential.

So Here’s What We Do:

You know what we are going to try this week – and really, from now on? Let’s write down what we LOVE about the journey – at least ten things per circumstance -, reflect on those items, and then, READ THEM OUT LOUD, IN THE MIRROR; so that, eventually, we really believe those reasons.

Love and Light, Friends,


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